Letting go helps us to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.Melody Beattie
When I was only 10 – 12 year old, my parents divorced. It wasn’t a pleasant experience for me. Deep down, I wanted the divorce. It was due to the tension that was building up at home. They weren’t on good terms. It pains me to see both of them quarrelling with each other. Why should they suffer in a relationship? I was young back then. I didn’t understand anything. When my mother broke the news to me, I blamed myself for it.
I felt like it’s my fault that they divorced each other. I held onto this belief ever since. I became reserved when my friends were talking about family. I wished that people avoided that topic entirely. It’s painful to talk about it. I was also afraid of the remarks others might give to me.
It was a painful one to two years journey. But I was very good at keeping it to myself. I never really shared this with my friends.
It may be the fact that I have not overcome the whole situation.
Only when I have accepted the truth; I can open up. At that time, I couldn’t. I am also good at avoiding problems. I didn’t want to face it. Since I didn’t want to talk about it, nobody knew. If they didn’t know, they wouldn’t ask. I think I didn’t know how to overcome it.
Thankfully, my school counsellor was there to change my thoughts about the whole belief.
After changing my belief, I let time slowly heal me away from the pain. A few months later, I accepted the fact. I could then let go of what is holding me back for several months. If I kept thinking of the old belief, then I would always have to re-visit the past. Again, the problem will arise. I will avoid it. It’s a never-ending cycle.
But I’m glad to share my thoughts with the counsellor. I told myself that I am lucky to discover it sooner. Else, I wouldn’t be where I’m supposed to be now.
Letting go is such a wonderful feeling. It’s like removing a burden on your shoulder. The weight of old beliefs is always holding us back from moving forward. I think after releasing it, I can breathe better. Not only that, I can process my thoughts better too.
What beliefs are we holding on to that is causing us to stay in the same position? Are we constantly blaming ourselves for something that we have no control over it? Are we holding on to any grudges on somebody for many, many years?
If the answer is yes, then I suggest that we let it go and move forward.
It may take time. It depends on whether you have accepted the fact or not. Take the time that you need. Some take longer than others. But ultimately, we should be able to let go of the matter.
We would feel relieved from the burden that we have been carrying on our shoulder.